You made me cry and you don't even care
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
