The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Someone signed my nipple.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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