How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
