All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Holy sore nipples Batman
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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