I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
