he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
