I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
she pinky promised me she was 18
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
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