HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
