You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
