Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
