Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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