My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
BRING THE BAGELS
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
