Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
