Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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