I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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