John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
