Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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