This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
