In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
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