Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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