Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
