ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
