3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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