he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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