I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
