these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
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