Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
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