I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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