Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
