can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
