i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
