Soap is not a condiment
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
