i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
