Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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