I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
