Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
