thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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