Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
After tacos, we're chasing women.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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