wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
So many bounce houses so little time
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
