I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
