Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
