I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
third nipple confirmed
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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