There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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