so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
We have so much sex to catch up on
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
