Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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