I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He passed out mid-signature
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
