Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
