he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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