We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
