don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize