I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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