so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
