Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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