Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
