What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
