the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
