literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Randomize
