its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
