she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
