please come you make the beer taste better
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I want to fling myself into the sun
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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