How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
